Idiots, The Lot of Them: Interview Gone Wrong
apparently my school made the senior dinner great gatsby themed
because what better theme for a graduation party than the inaccessibility of the american dream
We had to shave our cat because she had mats in her fur. But then she was cold. So we bought her a sweater.
It also came with a little hat.
My cat hates me.
(Source: 5liferuiningbastards)
I wouldn't be afraid of spiders if I could just talk to them, you know?
- Me: Oh, hey whoa, this shower is occupied.
- Spider: Omg man I didn't see you there.
- Me: We cool?
- Spider: Yeah, yeah, we're cool. I'm just coming down to scope out the tub.
- Me: Oh, that's legit. Hey, you might wanna move over some--you're descending right into the shower stream and I don't want you to drown.
- Spider: Hey thanks, bud. I'll be careful.
- Me: So...can I get out now?
- Spider: Sure, sure! Sorry I'll just move over here.
- Me: Thanks. You have a nice night. Don't come into my bedroom, okay?
- Spider: Nah, that's your space. We're cool. Have a great evening.
when i say i want to marry my favorite musician i don’t mean just bang i mean like
i want to be making pancakes on sunday morning and have him walk downstairs in plaid pajama pants with messy hair and have him kiss me on the nose
(Source: mardybeetlebum)
Which performance was this?
(Source: fuckyeahleetaemin)
- PENCIL: You know, I'm really sorry.
- ERASER: For what? You didn't do anything wrong.
- PENCIL: I'm sorry, 'couse you get hurt because of me. Whenever I make a mistake, you're always there to erase it. But as you make my mistakes vanish, you lose a part of yourself. You get smaller and smaller every time.
- ERASER: That's true, but i don't really mind. You see, I was made to do this. I was made to help you whenever you do something wrong. Even though, one of these days, I know I'll be gone and you have to replace me with a new one, I'm actually happy with my job. So please, stop worrying. I hate seeing you sad.
- random blogger reading this: what
- me: OH GOD IM CRYING SO MANY FEELS OTP
(Source: theamericankid)
“ALL HOOK CARES ABOUT IS VENGEANCE NOW AND FOREVER,” THEY SAID
“JUST YOU WAIT AND SEE,” WE SAID
“Y’ALL GOT SHIPPER GOGGLES,” THEY SAID
“OOOOKI DOKI,” WE SAID
shhh Sarah, you’ll spoil the illusion that we write the show.
(Source: castiltskin)
Reblog if you want someone to compare you to a Disney character in your ask!
(Source: aladdinsfuturewife)
